I am home. Finally.

I am home – after one year of mismanaged corporate leaves, of absolute emotional helplessness, of growing up, of handling things myself, of grief that came in June, of being broke and un-pampered, and unhappy and of being mad at myself and the world around me.

It’s only when I saw my mother, pale and weeker, with dark circles, waiting for me outside the building elevator in her pale, green domestic nighty, with eyes eagerly scanning me for my well being, that I realised how much I miss her, and her concern which is now only telephonic. I stepped inside my house consciously only to see that not much has changed… my father, in his usual baniyan and night pyjamas, appeared from the bedroom welcoming me with warm words…I could barely hear anything as I could only see wide, genuine smiled all over…what I could see around was the family that is mine, and the place I belong to.

Growing up brings with itself several issues – one of deciding ‘over’ the other. My career is as important to me as my family, and vice versa. I would probably feel incomplete without either (God forbid) in any case…
Anyway, what saddens me is to see them age… to catch the greyishness of age which is considered old… for some reasons, your parents are like ROCKSTARS who are eternally young and powerful… and seeing them in a light which reflects the otherwise, it sort of puts you at unrest with yourself. I feel guilty for being away, for giving importance to my career than to them…for being away for so long…

This is my biggest mistake yet and I am going to ensure that I see them as often as I can. I can’t believe I stayed away for so long.

I love them so much. I do, I do.

Weather? Delhi – so HOT!
State-of-mind – at peace
Song? (it’s on radio – zaraa jhoom, jhoom…!!!! )

Wake Up!

He says focus comes from ‘realisation’, I say it comes from conditioning. But I couldn’t agree more… for most of us, while our parents attempted to condition us towards a particular aim and discipline in life, it was only a kick on your backside that really got us on track. Well, for starters, only when you realised that you scored the least in class did you reconsider your attitude and made necessary amendments.

Watched “Wake Up Sid” last evening. The movie is a wholesome package with a message which is quite clear. The plot, again, is the age old story of a rich spoilt brat with no direction in life suddenly wants to prove his worth to the world. However, contrary to your expectations, the movie does not end up in he joining back his rich father’s flourishing business empire.

Ranbir Kapoor has done a marvelous job – quite impressed! Konkana, in her simple, suave and natural way delivers a perfect character of a Kolkata girl on a mission to do something with her life, following her dreams in Mumbai. What’s even better is their twisted chemistry. The unconventional pairing has worked, like it did in Dil Chahta Hai. The movie offers a number of feel good factors at the same time makes you sit back and think. While most of us relate to it with our college days, I could feel the connect even with working people. People who are slogging to get a pay cheque every month, suppressing and hiding underneath their passions. It is so important to do what your heart wants to do. I know of people who did not want to get entrapped in the realms of corporate life and decided to follow what their real passion is. While some, due to sheer circumstances and need of money have continued to deplete their inner-selves in the rigmarole of corporate life, some actually stood up and left behind what actually is ‘dry, monotonous and soul-less’.

After watching the movie I was quiet for sometime, absorbing whatever I had just seen. It’s not like I haven’t been touched by movies before – Rock On, Eternal Sunshine…, Requiem for a Dream have had quite an impact on my life… but after watching Wake Up Sid, for the first time I felt a strong urge to turn back time and undo quite a few things and redo them the way it should’ve been done.

At the end of the day, you must realise, life is only this big, and there is so much to do. If you are fortunate enough, you will know where your heart lies from the very beginning. For those who don’t know that, it’s all about finding where your heart lies, and being convinced about it. Isn’t it?

Wake yourself up!