It is freezing here in Delhi. The streets around my home are usually empty. A siren or two from the nearby factories shakes me from what I am doing the most these days- day dreaming. Apart from that, I also cook and read and desperately look for jobs all day.
That. I’ve been away from Bangalore for around 10 days now and it has become a distant memory in my heart. My life in Bangalore seems like this black and white picture from an old album. I look at these pictures in retrospect and miss those days. Days of complete madness, stress, beauty, mush, happiness, sadness, work, boredom, apartment, walks, chatter, mindless rambling… Days of swinging emotions called Life.
It’s not bad here too. After all, I am home. My parents are happy to have me back and I also enjoy this sense of security and pampering offered to me. Though it would be too ideal to wish that we were all in Bangalore. Mom gets worried, Dad supports and my brother who left for Pune yesterday, boosts my dying morale. It’s a ‘family thing’ to do I guess.
It’s strange how ‘thinking’ is considered to be a stupid thing to do. But yea, maybe I am depressed most of the time because I ‘think’ too much. I do. And I just can’t help but think, think, and think all day. While in Bangalore, I think of home and parents and family. While I’m here, I think of and miss Bangalore like hell.
Noida, where I stay is an SEZ. There are hundreds of factories and thousands of residential buildings. Just last evening, I was out, staring into an empty peice of land acquired by one of those realty giants to build a housing society. It was cold, and I was shivering. As I just stood there looking at the last bunch of workers leave for their homes, the field seemed abnormally vacant. It was huge, as big as the universe and it looked like it was preparing itself to host hundreds of homes that will dwell in it very soon. One thought led to another and there I was standing alone, staring up at the cold, morose sky, thinking of a future. Of a future of being married and settled. Of having a family, a home I will decorate with long cherished dreams and never dying hopes… I thought of him and then us and then everybody around us. It was such a lovely moment. In that vague moment of a fading moon, cold breeze and watery eyes, I promised myself a certain something.
Tea is here. Must leave.
