And still I continue to be hopeful. I mean, how much more whipping does one need? I have been screwed from all areas in life, and like a loser, I am still being vaguely optimistic about things that will *never* happen? Oh man.
My friends tell me I should be optimistic and should love life for whatever it offers. Well, in my own crazy ways, I do. But how is it my fault that each time the bad things outweigh more the good things? How is it that each time, something or the other gets me in a fix, I cannot get out from?
Anyway, job hunt is still on. Bangalore is being a painful host. I have fallen sick 9 times in the last three months. Apparently, I could have an infection in my lungs because I am exposed to passive smoking! Brilliant! I suffer for something which others do? How is that justified now?
Did I ever mention that no matter how much I love my friends, I hate it when they smoke? And if I try avoiding them while they’re smoking, they think I am being anti-social! Holy mother!! I knew they’re all stupid enough to consume something which is ”injurious to health”, but did not know that they lost all common social sense while smoking away their lives!
I am pissed.
But then, I do love ‘em all. And really, I can’t really ask the bunch of people sitting on the table next to ours to stop smoking because I am asthamatic. Hmm. Solution would be to stop going out completely. Decided. Or maybe go to only non-smoking restaurants. Will do.
Oh, I am still confused about going to Delhi. No wait, not about ‘going to Delhi’, but about whether I should stay in Bangalore or not. I mean, yes I do love it here n all, but I also want Mommy and Daddy. It’s been so long… I am actually quite sick of being sick all the time. Depression and pain have become like my chud-buds now. Crap.
Weather? Weirdly cold and wet
Song? Sounds of silence
State of mind? P.I.S.S.E.D
